And jokes
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
What do orphans and Trump supporters have in common?
No one likes them.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
You smell like a monkey, and you might have to take a shower, pu.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."
The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.