And jokes

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.

Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.

Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...

Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.

Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.

I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.