And jokes
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
Me and a girl went on a walk...
Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.