And jokes
"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?
A. The Jello has a higher IQ.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.