And jokes

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.

Doctor: Yup.

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.

  • 4

    • I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.

    What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

    Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.

    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.

    There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

    I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."

    What is the difference between 9/11 and Clash Royale, lol?

    Clash Royale still has a tower.

    What is the difference between preschools and my basement?

    Little kids come out of preschool.