And jokes
Why drink water and not bleach?
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.