And jokes
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise ;)
Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.
Btw, you have to like all my posts :)
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.