I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Why does Michael Joseph Jackson love Boise?
Because of all the boys he'll see.
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
