Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
Abortion is bad
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Sam Gonzales
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Who is better than Alabama?
CLEMSON TIGERS!
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
