Alabama jokes
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
"Joe Mama is very cool. Sweet Home Alabama starts."
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.