Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
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βA happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.β - Albert Einstein
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
Who are the fastest readers? 911 victims, they did 98 stories is 10 seconds
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
How many Emo's does it take to screw in a light bulb.None they all just sit in the dark and cry.
All people on here, what's your least favorite hunting rifle? Mine's Sako-85.