neversawitcoming

Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...

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I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.

The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"

Summary of Twilight in one sentence:

Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.

How To Kill A Blonde 101:

First Step: Get a pool.

Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.

My dad died a while ago.

I try to think of the happy thoughts. At least he died doing what he loved—sleeping.