I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction".
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys pants half off.
doctor: what's your zodiac sign?
patient: cancer?
doctor: what a coincidence
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
If a man says you’re ugly, he like you. If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous. If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
girl: hey why don't you come over?
guy: i cant. cops are looking for me, they say i killed 2 people.
girl: cmon, my parents aren't home.
guy: about that. . .
In Boston we say
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said “ Hey Jill, you wanna?” Jill said yes, unzipped her dress and then they had a “daughta” 🤣
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail it’s hand to the floor
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park on his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
What do you call it when you baptize a mexacan? Bean dip!
they say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose
An ugly arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice,"
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
