What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?.... Micheal Phelps can finish a race
Lettuce stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
A couple is on their first date. Man: How do you feel about sex? Woman: I like it infrequently. Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub? Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re then what does having sex for free make you? Non-profit wh*reganisation
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What do you Call AG? A beta male
what do u call a group of emo people?
"the suicide squad"
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane? It scares the shit out of her dog.
LYNXXXXXXX
ayo lynx where you at
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments)
Your mama so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico
kid: #1: You're adopted. kid#2: At least they wanted me. kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
I was outside digging a six foot hole, when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
I'm as straight as a rainbow
regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist
Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain
