why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? because they don't have teeth xD
So there’s this air purifier in my room right, and it’s really noisy so I unplugged it to sleep better and sure enough I fell asleep faster, so I came to the conclusion if I unplug noisy machines people will sleep better. It worked really well in my local hospital
yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way
U so ugly when ur mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
What do you do if you see a indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of indian culture
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub Is 1 way to describe how my inner child acts but yesterday I killed them now I hear Wubba Lubba Dub Dub I’m drowning in the tub
Roses are red violets are blue you'll suck my dick cause I'm stronger than you
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? is it just because i'm the only one with the bomb?
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas? Cancer
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers and orgasms. Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock
Why did the snowman say Good day to the sun? Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun
Jeff: *crosses the US border* The second he crosses into the USA: guy comes up with gun Jeff: that’s what I was expecting.
Pro tip: how to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make you child hold the nail.
Why are asian's eyes always squinted? Nukes are bright
Why did the orphan go to church so he had someone to call dad 🤣🤣
i was crying cuz my dad was cutting onions...
onions was a good dog
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London ?
All the exit signs were in English
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
