Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

None of these are even funny. Just stupid.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....

On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?

The dinosaur once existed.

a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

I don’t put fruit in a blender.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.