Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!