I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
Worst Jokes Ever
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
What do you call a white girl who can run faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
You add words = bullshit.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Yo mama so stupid.
When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."
What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?
Spam.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
Just.
Old.
Killer.
Epigrams.
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.