Worst Jokes Ever

An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"

The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."

The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."

The condom just sitting there laughing.

对不起,我是卧底。

(Duìbùqǐ, wǒ shì wòdǐ.)

Sorry, I'm an undercover.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.

What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

P.l.a.n.e.

Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?

P.l.a.n.e.

Penis loving Asian now entering.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

Doin' (DYM 63)?

What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.

Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!

What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?

Family photo.

Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.