Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Gnome.
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"