Worst Jokes Ever
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?
Y'all smell like ass!
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
What do you call an Asian? A stupid gook.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
I like your mom naked.