Worst Jokes Ever

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

What do call six gay men going in a war?

Rainbow Six Siege.

What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

Who is Joe?

You reply back: Who is Candice?

They reply back: Who is Candice?

You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."

What does a cannibal call people in water?

Sea food.

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

What did the swearing hen say?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

What did the cussing rooster say?

"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"

You gonna poop someday.

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.

Doin (DYM 38).