Worst Jokes Ever

Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Patient: Good news!

Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!

I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.

What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"

Why are orphans' funerals so small?

They have no loved ones.

What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?

A horse can't hoop.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

You're the wrist-slitting simulator champion!

Hair (DYM 81).

That's kinda sus, you know?

What did the cat say when he fell off the table?

MEOM!

BBNBHD.

I'm back, bitches!

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.