What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
Worst Jokes Ever
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
You are stupid!
Nana
What is 9 + 10?
21
You stupid!
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never hit a homerun.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
If you're a girl, please comment.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
You smell like you farted. FARTED harted HARTED. A B honor rolls, all F's, you retarded. OHHHHHHHH!
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!