Worst Jokes Ever
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.
Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
A nut told me to eat him, so I did, but something weird happened. I turned into a nut, and when I poop, there were eggs there.
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?
Sans, why did you buy that pillow? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, grhrh. Sans, you f**k! You wake the f**k up! Frisk comes to the room and ./. You tell Papyrus what happened. Hhhuh, human, heeheheheh. Sans didn't pick up his sock, so I punish him. Sans egjf.
I'm glad.
Later (DYM 125)
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
I'm bored. Anybody wanna chat?
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Who's Joe?
Joe Mama sucks my fat nuts, bitch!
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.