Worst Jokes Ever
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What is BK but gay?
Bgay.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
What do you call a cute door?
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.