Worst Jokes Ever
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.