Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A milkshake.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.