why can’t dinosaurs clap? because their dead.

what did the banana say to the banana

u look a-pealing

Robin: The cars not working Batman: Did you check the battery Robin: Whats a tery

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

Do want to know why they call it an orphanage? Cause they couldn’t call it orphans home

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !

I like my women like a day. 20 four year olds. 24 hours of fun

My friend asked me: Friend: How much is your body worth? Me: 1 million. Friend: 1 million dollars?! Me: No. 1 million kilograms. Friend: Oh.

the person who is reading this

How do you get a clown of your swing?

You shoot it.

I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family.

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”

“How do you make holy water?” “You boil the hell out of it.”

Hot shingles in your neighbourhood wanting to get nailed.

if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie

Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey’s mouth isn’t big enough to eat her!