Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Allah akbar.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
"Fuck you, do something about it!"
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Trump did 1/6.