Worst Jokes Ever
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
What did the egg say to the tuna?
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."