Worst Jokes Ever
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
Why did the rapper become a tailor?
Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some MONEY MOVES.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.