Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
whats the difference between McDonald's and a priest
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them...
But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 911. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
When your crush walks in class but youre homeschooled...
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone
I almost got caught watching porn.My mom got the bill for the account but luckily dad had my back.I mean we do use the same account
so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.
