Worst Jokes Ever
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.