Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.