Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.