Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
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Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”