Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
Worst Jokes Ever
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
“The difference between Asians and Caucasians is the cau-”.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
