Worst Jokes Ever

When was the first Black Friday?

1619.

What's a school shooter's favorite anime?

Assassination Classroom.

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?

Coldplay.

An Irish-man walks out of a bar.

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

Nevermind, it's retarded.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

You shoot him in the face.

What’s black, white, and red all over?

An ethnic orgy.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.

Lying bastard never came out.

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

What do emos and apples have in common?

They both hang on trees.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

Where does a girl with one leg work?

IHOP.