Worst Jokes Ever
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.