Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.

Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.