Worst Jokes Ever
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
What's a rabbit's favorite song?
Hip hop.
My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.