What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
Worst Jokes Ever
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
