Worst Jokes Ever

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

*School shooting happens*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*

American student: "First time?"

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.

Most states:

"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."

Alabama:

"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.

If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?

Alive.

What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?

Madeline McCann's bike.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.