Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
"Bill, never do that again."
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Us: haha penis.
Korea: That sounds like a park name.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"