Worst Jokes Ever
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
I love ❤️ going to school 🏫.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...