Worst Jokes Ever
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”
That one kid putting Joe: -_-
Teacher: Who’s Joe?
The whole class: JOE MAMA!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Guess what?
Good guess.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.