Worst Jokes Ever
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!