Worst Jokes Ever

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Damn, I love being a sniper.

What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."

I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.

What are two things you could call a fart?

"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

They lost 2 towers.

Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.

The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.

Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?

How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.