Worst Jokes Ever
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
Hehe.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
Huggy Wuggy big big Huggy Wuggy big big big big Huggy Wuggy laugh laugh smooch smooch Huggy Wuggy *insert clapping noise*
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.