Worst Jokes Ever

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

Communists don't play Minecraft.

They play Ourcraft.

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

Rip Juice WRLD.

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c—

MOO!

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.