Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Suicide

    • I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

    Tbh they really left me hanging there.

  • 1

    • Homeless Man

    • A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

  • 1

    • Meth

    • White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

    Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!

  • 1

    • Suicide

    • I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.

  • 1

    • Prostate exam

    • Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.

    Doctor: Yup.

    Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.

    Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.

  • 4

    • Custody

    • A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

    Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

    Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

    Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

    The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

  • 1

    • Yo mama

    • I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

  • 2