Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?