Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football