Worst Jokes Ever
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.