Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!