Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go to heaven; Heaven comes to Chuck Norris. RIP.
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.