Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.