Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
I support LGBTQ. Let's Go Bully The Queers
How do you get a transwoman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get it's stripes.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?
Pocahontas
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"