Worst Jokes Ever

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

Because no one misses them.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?

Some smile, others beam.

Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."

My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."

Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?

A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.

Why do orphans rob banks?

Because they want to be wanted.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

Ching chong China.

Jing jong Japan.

Ting tong Taiwan.

Hing hong Hong Kong.

King kong Korea.

I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.