Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?

Lights are hanging.

Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

Isn't it ridiculous to hear INBRED WHITE TRASH RACISTS talking $#iT about OTHER "Cultures"?

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Advice to the Clown telling all of the "Orphan Jokes":

If it's NOT "Funny", then DON'T POST IT!

Scientists found water on Mars, mars-1 africa-0.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?

Because then, it would be a foot.

Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War