Worst Jokes Ever
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
I am no longer anonymous.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Farts.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.