Worst Jokes Ever
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.