Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans play baseball? 'Cause they can’t find home plate.
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?...
"Catch you later!"
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)