Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.
So I turned off the lights.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."
*darned autocorrect*
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.