Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
Why do orphans like boomerangs so much?
Because they come back.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Say "I hate happiness" without the "hs".
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it Sum Ting Wong.