Worst Jokes Ever
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Parents...
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.
Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.