Worst Jokes Ever

Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

Girl: "Daddy!"

Father: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"

Father: "Mhm!"

Woman: "Daddy?"

Father: "Of course?"

Woman: "I'm a girl too!"

Father: "Does God love children?"

Boy: "Yessss..."

Heh.

Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.

Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.

What did the builder say after the foundation?

"Employees!"

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.

After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"

Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"

What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?

A whore.

Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.

Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.

Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)

A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.

After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"

The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."