Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
I need to Goliath down and sleep!
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”