Worst Jokes Ever
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
What's the first rule of Wank Club?
Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.
What can you say in bed and in piano class? Im fingering A Minor
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
Summary of Twilight in one sentence:
Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.