Worst Jokes Ever

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."

Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"

Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain finished the races.

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.