Worst Jokes Ever
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
I went to catch the fog this morning, I mist.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Steps to win a Nerf war:
Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.
Step 2. Load hollow points.
Step 3. Win!
Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”