Worst Jokes Ever
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
What do you call a flat chested emo girl?
Cutting board.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.