Worst Jokes Ever
Summary of Twilight in one sentence:
Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
I woke up in my bed today.
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
Yo Mama so dumb, she needs 10 explanation bears to understand you.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Kamikaze!
Kamikaze wh—
おいおい、お前を殺して、その塔ごと地面に叩き込んでやるぞ! いいな?
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.