Worst Jokes Ever

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

So they can be wanted for once.

Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.