Worst Jokes Ever

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"

What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."

Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.