Worst Jokes Ever
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
"Say what you want about the deaf."
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
Just do it.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?