We jokes
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." đ
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didnât explode."đ
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
âNothing special,â he explained. âWe just tell them theyâre going to die.â
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldnât have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. đđ¤Łđ¤Ł
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. đŤŁđ¤Łđ
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? đ¤¨
Me: What?
The person: You said youâre going to pick up âthe stuffâ!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.