Venue jokes
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?