Venue jokes
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.